Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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