I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
