I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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