It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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