I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
