how can u be prego again
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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