Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Randomize
