The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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