She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
