In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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