Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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