Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
