so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Me too!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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