roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Its about making memories worth repressing
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
