Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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