brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
