So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
