he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
