So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
