Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
