this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
