Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
