My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
