lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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