so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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