Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
