i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
