Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
