if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
