I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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