I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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