If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
