i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
