Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
