That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
