Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
