I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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