You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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