if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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