ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
