The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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