Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
