I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
