Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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