My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
