He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
