I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
