absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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