I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
