I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
